“Eternity” Movie Argues That Love Isn’t Enough
The movie, Eternity, stars Elizabeth Olsen and Miles Teller in a romcom addressing the question of what we do in the afterlife on the surface. On a deeper level, it explores if love really is enough. May contain spoilers!
The movie opens following Larry and Joan as they go about their life as a senior couple, driving to their granddaughter’s gender reveal. You see them bickering in the car, at times exacerbated with each other. They let on that Joan has terminal cancer and that there is some hesitancy on when to tell the rest of the family. After the bickering in the car, Larry notices Joan’s IV in her upper forearm sticking out of her sleeve and lovingly pulls her sleeve down after she insists that today was not the day to tell them. Shortly after arriving at the gender reveal, Larry kicks it by choking on a pretzel. Larry ends up in the in-between afterlife where you must pick your “eternity” afterlife however the caveat is that you can’t switch your “eternity” after you’ve picked even if someone you love ends up in another one. One week later Joan arrives to be greeted by not just Larry, her husband of 65 years, but Luke, her first husband who passed in the war 67 years earlier. Luke has patiently waited 67 years in the afterlife in between to start the life together that they never got the chance to live. The concept of the movie is that Joan has to now choose who to spend eternity with.
Right off the bat, we start to see major differences as the audience. Luke is painted as a war hero, tall, dreamy, and always has the romantic line. Larry is painted as the funny, quirky, devoted husband but that the relationship is known, familiar, and resembles an old married couple bickering, honestly. The appeal to Luke (the first husband) is strong. Joan says multiple times in the movie, “Who doesn’t want a passionate, sparkly love?”.
“The movie addresses the question of “is love really enough?” and it’s answer is no.”
Their love was a whirlwind, fueled by attraction, passion and a lack of time that ended the possibility of something more. There is a huge unknown, a looming “what if” that hangs over them. Due to the brief amount of time they spent together, we see them almost return to the “honeymoon” phase with each other. They become giddy, shy, and unsure. They’re really just getting to know each other. The movie also emphasizes over and over that Luke and Joan were a “good looking couple”. It focuses heavily on the aesthetic. When we see Luke and Joan spend time together, we start to see divides happening such as the way that Luke responds to Joan. He doesn’t take an interest in how she lived her life, only how he can spend time with her now. He’s not interested in her story after he died, or getting to know what makes her tick. His goal is that he wants to spend time with her NOW, making up for the time that they lost together… the idea of being with a long, lost love. A resolution to the age old question of, “what if?”
This directly opposes Larry. Larry is the funny, reliable, stable, and stubborn husband of 65 years. Larry and Joan fall easily into bickering. Their relationship is known and comfortable. The movie emphasizes that Larry needs to remind Joan WHY they fell in love. While Larry really isn’t sure, we as the audience can pick up on little things that Larry does throughout the movie that make Joan feel seen even if it's taken for granted by her in the moment. He calms her down in moments of worry, he knows her little quirks, and he aims to always take care of her. He is the opposite of Luke in that he already knows her inside and out but it is taken for granted by both her and Larry. Compared to the passionate, whirlwind romance with Luke, Larry is the loving stability and security of 65 years. While there is a comparison of their two relationships, there is also a lesson for Larry to learn. While Larry shows that he’s devoted to Joan and obviously loves her, he must learn how to not take Joan for granted and how to make her a priority even if it means his sacrifice at times. While in relationships we are a unit, we are still individuals that make up the unit who deserve to be listened to and honored for our individual wants and needs. When Joan arrives in the afterlife, Larry has already picked their eternity without giving what Joan wants much of a thought.
The rest of the movie follows Luke, Joan, and Larry to figure out where they belong and with who in their eternity. The movie addresses the question of “is love really enough?” and it’s answer is no. Love is a start but it’s not enough to sustain a relationship. All relationships go through phases which are completely normal. The beginning of a relationship, commonly referred to as the “honeymoon phase” is meant to bond two people together. It is fun, light hearted, passionate, with lots of oxytocin: the bonding hormone. As couples stay together, that wears off. Issues may come up that the couple works through and every time they work together, they build trust for the long haul. “Working together” may look like parenting, issues with in-laws, moving, new careers, etc. Long term relationships look more like companionship and require loyalty, compromise, hard work, and problem solving. Marriage is like having a forever sleepover with your best friend. Within that dynamic develops a deep knowing of each other. The movie “Eternity” holds the honeymoon stage and the companion stage side by side perfectly. It displays the bright, fiery love that’s just beginning with the trustworthy, knowing love that can survive the years. In addition to the side by side comparison, it also explores taking long-term love for granted. Too often we get complacent in long term love, taking each other for granted or even steamrolling our partner into what we want assuming it’s what they want too. In long-term relationships, we are a unit and function as a team but there’s also a fine line to walk. That line is functioning as a unit while also honoring the individuals within the relationship. When we don’t honor individual wants, needs, thoughts, feelings, we do a disservice to the person that makes up 50% of that couple.
Although some spoilers in the movie’s theme might be present here, I won’t spoil the end for you! You’ll have to watch and be surprised. As a relationship therapist, I thoroughly enjoyed watching this movie explore the dynamics of short term and long term love. I didn’t expect it to be THAT good honestly, but it quickly became a favorite and one that I will recommend clients to watch in the future. Lasting love shouldn’t feel like a passionate roller coaster, it should feel like a warm, safe hug and this movie depicts that perfectly.
Katie Bonanno, LMFTA
Katie is a couples and relational therapist in Charleston, SC. Katie enjoys guiding her clients through discovering their self at their core. She believes that we always have a choice in how we view things and in that, we always have the power to change things for the better. Katie delights in helping others discover their unique strengths and working through heavy emotions.
Katie has immediate openings for new clients!
