Couples Counseling
when your love feels lost in the dark, let’s light the way back
Couples Therapy for the couple who wants to connect but doesn’t know how.
Feeling disconnected doesn’t mean it’s the beginning of the end.
You may be feeling like…
what you say is never heard or doesn’t matter
you have to become loud or dramatic to be taken seriously
your partner doesn’t consider you
you’re anxious all the time about the state of your relationship
you don’t trust your partner enough to open up to them
you can’t rely on your partner to even get little things done like booking a date night
you wince at their touch because the only time they touch you is when they want sex
you can never resolve a fight or when you supposedly do resolve something, nothing changes
a glorified roommate instead of a romantic partner
Couples Issues I Help With
Couples issues can show up in a lot of different ways. Every relationship and couple is unique. We always take time to explore and intimately understand the patterns in your relationship.
Disconnection
Communication
Life Transitions
Relationship Stress
Infidelity
Family Boundaries
Intimacy
People Pleasing
Resentment
Family of origin
Attachment patterns
Trauma
Relationship & Couples Counseling
Modalities I use with clients …
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Relational Life Therapy is a practical approach to couples therapy. Unlike more traditional talk therapy, RLT is direct and active. This approach allows me to listen and reflect while actively coaching you in the moment, calling out unhealthy patterns as they show up in session and offering concrete tools to shift them. RLT helps couples recognize when they've slipped into blame, defensiveness, or one-upping each other, and teaches a different way to stay connected even when things get hard. This tends to be a much more straight forward approach to therapy and is more focused on consistent and sustainable change.
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Emotionally Focused Therapy is one of the most well-researched approaches to couples therapy. It's grounded in attachment theory which is the idea that we're wired to need close, secure emotional bonds with the people we love, and that most relationship conflict is really a cry for connection in disguise. The fight about dishes or who texted back late is rarely really about that and instead about feeling unseen, unwanted, or unsafe in the relationship. EFT slows things down so partners can access and share the softer, more vulnerable feelings underneath the anger or distance and actually be met by your partner thus furthering the connection between them.
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Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is one of the most widely studied and used forms of therapy, built on a simple but powerful idea: our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are all connected. By changing unhelpful thinking patterns, we can change how we feel and act. The way we interpret a situation drives our emotional response. Two people can face the same event and react completely differently based on what they're telling themselves about it. CBT is active and skills-based. You'll leave sessions with concrete tools and strategies to try in real life.
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Narrative Therapy is an approach that rests on a simple but powerful reframe: you are not your problem. It views people as the experts on their own lives and sees problems as separate from a person's identity, shaped by the stories they've been told (or told themselves) over time. The narratives we carry about who we are, what our relationship is like, or what we're "doomed" to repeat can quietly limit what feels possible and how we show up in life. By identifying the story that's been running the show, you can start intentionally writing a new one that reflects your values and the relationship you actually want.
What couples therapy looks like
Although I have different theories I use in my practice, couples therapy is always customized specifically to your needs and the needs in the relationship. I track the patterns happening in your relationship and also what each person brings to the relationship to get a better idea of what we need to work on.
What I’ve done with clients
Helped clients notice emotions in their body and how to communicate that with their partner
Taught clients how to speak in an emotional way rather then cold, and logical
Had clients turn to each other to communicate while I coach them through the interaction to help get their message across as accurately as possible
Taught clients how to de-escalate arguments and connect after rather than sweep it under the rug
Supported clients in exploring their backgrounds with their partners present to help build empathy and connection
Instructed partners to touch and comfort each other in session to help build emotional connection and vulnerability
What’s Possible When You Reconnect
When partners are in it 100%, therapy can have amazing outcomes.
Clients often find that after therapy they:
~ Start feeling like a team again.
~Make their partner a priority
~Resolve arguments quicker instead of dragging them out
~Understand each other better and can anticipate each others needs
~Feel more connected to each other
~Have a better, more intimate, and connected sex life
~Prioritize dating and spending time together
~Are able to be vulnerable with their feelings and seek each other for comfort
~Can invite their partner into their own inner world, taking openly about their thoughts and feelings
~Are able to have calm conversations where their emotions and viewpoints are listened to and considered
You want to look at your partner and recognize the person you fell in love with.
It’s possible.